Has Milk Been Putting On Weight?

by mcgurk22 Email

Team Barbary Clark lost a nail biter in overtime to a scrappy (yet poorly dressed) 40 Thieves team to conclude the San Diego Lacrosse tournament. In a coaching move that could only be called "Clarkian", Coach Clark benched All-American goalkeeper Milk "FerNet" Fenton, electing to start his always confident (yet untested) backup Kris Klark. Previously, Klark's contributions to the Barbary Clark team appear to be his ability to 'boot & rally', as well as his short-stick defense which generally referred to as "Eff You Guys".

Never one to let opportunity pass him by, Klark logged a impressive first half. Activities were not necessarily limited to goalkeeping, and included the heckling of the opposing team, the heckling of his own team and the heckling of an old lady walking past the field. Klark also made at least one impressive save, thanks in part to an attackman who still believes that stickside high shots useful… “assuming the goalie just gets out of the way.”

Unfortunately, the second half would not smile so kindly on Barbary Clark. One of the referees (who had decided that getting paid for actually working the game was just asking too much) elected to not bother enforcing the rules of the game, and drew the ire of Clark Nation. An arguing Assistant Coach Clark was told by the ref "It's just a consolation game, and I don't care". An incensed Kris Klark then pulled the cage over and announced "Then you can not enforce this rule a-hole". Everyone on the sideline gave the scrappy backup goalie from Upstate New York a standing ovation, commenting that if nothing else "he certainly does have quite a mouth on him".