Barbary Clark 8, Clif Bar 7. "Chris Clark assists Chris 'Carter' Clark for game-winning goal, players Clark and 'That Guy' both ejected during half time discussion with ref's"

by viceroyterrific Email

In a pain-staking finish of what was an aggravatingly close game, The Barbary Clark lacrosse club wore down Team Clif Bar to the score of 8-7 this past Saturday, on an otherwise pleasant afternoon in Sausalito.

Relying on an efficient and opportunistic coaching staff that badgered the refs into 15 man up situations for BC, the Clarks were able to capitalize on 7 chances, and ultimately were awarded the game winning goal from lead referee Tim Collins after Box Coach Carter 'That's a terrible call and you should be ashamed of yourself' Clark, effectively made Collins ears bleed.

"I have to hand it to myself," said Coach Clark, "I really went out of my way to prove that my knowledge of lacrosse rules and the minutiae of crease violations was superior to all others." When asked how that may have actually turned the favor of the game to Clif Bar, Clark replied, "Scoreboard, asshole".

In a losing effort, stymied by players being harangued by the BC bench for uniform violations and losing game rhythm from well placed time outs called by the Clarkian coaches, Clif Bar was at a loss as to what happened. "I don't know what to say," said Clif Bar player, Clifford Cliftenstein, "we're more talented than Barbary Clark, and quite frankly we're not as much of pricks as they are, but we somehow fell apart." Asked if whether they look forward to playing Barbary Clark in the playoffs, Cliftenstein mentioned a preference for bathing in a tub broken glass and rubbing alcohol.

In related news, cloning technology has since been banned in the NATO and OPEC countries, and supreme mullah Tehlann Al-Hashareen has issued a fatwa upon Barbary Clark.